Peter & Gabrielle

^$810 raised

19 contributors • 6 days left

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Story
Activity 19

The weekend before Christmas in 2022, my brother Peter died by suicide. Due to factors stemming from childhood and adolescent abuse, we had been estranged for over a decade. Living with mental illness, is like running on a broken leg no one can see, that you often can't even see yourself - you just feel the pain and the impacts. Over time, the damage compounds affecting other parts of your mind, body, and ability to function. Peter's death ripped open thirty years of unaddressed grief, trauma, and pain that I was unable to adequately address due to a lack of resources and stigma surrounding mental illness. After graduating from high school, Peter went into the service; he didn't receive the help he needed to heal his underlying trauma which manifested as bi-polar disorder. Trauma, especially childhood trauma, functionally changes the brain: causing physical alterations such as the reduction of gray matter and automatic patterned responses of the nervous system. Because of stigma surrounding mental illness - many, if not most people, do not receive the support and tools they need to heal. My trauma has manifested as pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) and complex-post traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). PMDD is an endocrine/brain based mood disorder, in which my brain reacts negatively to the normal fluctuation of hormones. C-PTSD is a trauma disorder in which I have an overactive/excessively sensitive amygdala, which processes emotions and terror reactions. This sensitivity causes excessive fear reactions, hypervigilance, & difficulty with emotional regulation. I am grateful for the people who have given me hope, shown me love and kindness when I have wanted to give up. I have struggled with suicidality throughout my life, which has worsened since the loss of my brother. I am raising money this year for Pete - and sharing my story with the hope that it will help de-stigmatize mental illness, bring awareness to PMDD, C-PTSD, and bi-polar disorder and raise money for Sharing Kindness' Hope Squad, which uses peer-to-peer support and other methods to help at-risk youth. It is my hope that these funds directly impact youth and provide them with tools, resources, and education they need to have healthy brains and thrive in life. It is my hope that someday we can all live in alignment with our most authentic selves, to feel safe, be free, and to have unlimited love and compassion for one another. With Love, Gabrielle

jay b gave ^$25

May 17, 2024